So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
