I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
