so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just had sex bonerless
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
