i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
