Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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