You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
soo... how was my night?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
