Christians are straight up FREAKS
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
