do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
