I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
