Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
