I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
