do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize