Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
