when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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