garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
