theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize