Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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