How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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