Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
