Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
