no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I see more hoeing in ur future
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
