Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
