I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
