thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
