If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
