How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
