We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
