Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
