just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
