he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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