my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
