Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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