just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You made out with two different species that night
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
me + whiskey = a bad person
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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