at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
