Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize