flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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