Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
