So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
