so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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