We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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