so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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