So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
