Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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