My nipple is on Facebook.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
time to smoke my breakfast
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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