I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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