Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
