When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just gargled with NyQuil
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
