I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
