I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We got so high we made milksteak
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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