I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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