i just wanna soil my oats bro
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
