everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
