You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
MIDGETS
????
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
