you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
