My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
They have beer where we have blood.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
