I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
