love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Randomize
