Are we in a gay sports bar?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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