College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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