You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
