I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
